Own Your Dream

As a singer, it’s easy to find yourself dreaming of winning a reality singing competition and becoming an instant celebrity, or getting discovered singing karaoke and getting a shot at being the next big thing in music. In fact, it seems almost everyone harbors a dream to be a rock star, whether they’re a singer or not.

But, to be more specific, it seems to be like the dream is always to be THE STAR, the one out in front, the individual at the center of the attention. I have these dreams too, of course, but lately I’ve begun questioning whether that’s where I really want to be. Looking back at my career to date, I realized that I’m always striving to make others look good, working behind the scenes in support of that star out in front.

When I was doing theatre, I loved stage management and working on a backstage crew – ensuring the actors’ props were clean, unbroken, and in their proper place, or getting a light or sound cue just right to achieve the mood or feeling the designer had intended. It wasn’t about me being in the spotlight – it was about making sure that the people who were, looked good.

Even in my corporate career, I have the same tendencies. I find myself striving to always give credit to others for their ideas and contributions, framing my boss in the best possible light, bringing things to people’s attention to help them avert a possible sticky situation, and being willing to take the blame when things go wrong if I had any part in the cause, to make sure someone else doesn’t take the hit. I tend to avoid highlighting my own accomplishments, and instead focus on teamwork and others’ achievements.

So I got to thinking, if this is how I prefer to work – being out of the spotlight, making others look good – maybe this is how I should approach music. Maybe what I want to do is be a background vocalist. The idea of it is really appealing – it feels less vulnerable than being the main singer in the spotlight, but still requires a lot of talent and dedication and hard work. Singing backup also involves a lot of harmonization, which I love doing – I remember back in high school, my best friend Christine and I used to always sing along with the radio while driving, and I would always take the harmony line while she sang melody. Even back then, I was drawn to the supporting role. ;)

When I found myself contemplating this idea, though, I somehow felt like it was less worthy of being my dream than the idea of wanting to be a lead singer. Who dreams of being a backup singer rather than the star? I felt like it was a cop-out dream, like I was too scared of reaching for the “real thing” and instead taking my dreams down a notch to make them less audacious or bold, or like I figured it took less talent to be a backup, so it was a better fit for unqualified little me.

Then a funny thing happened. Not long after all these thoughts were rolling around my brain, during one of my voice lessons, my teacher and I got on the subject of current popular singers, and out of nowhere, she said, “Wow, I would LOVE to be a backup singer for someone like that.” I couldn’t believe it – this is someone who has sung opera all over the globe, whose voice is out-of-this-world amazing, and she was wishing to be a backup singer.

I asked her, didn’t she think it was somehow less of an aspiration? And she asked me, “Are you crazy?” She pointed out that backup singers don’t work any less hard than leads, and there are a lot of advantages to being a backup – having the opportunity to sing for a living and go on tour while not carrying the burden of a show the way a lead singer does, getting the chance to sing harmonies versus melodies, and not being subjected to same level of scrutiny in terms of appearance (i.e. not having to be the Hollywood standard of blonde, buxom and size 0).

While I know that I shouldn’t have to look to others to validate my own thoughts or dreams, I was really grateful to hear my super-talented and accomplished voice teacher share her point of view on this. It helped me realize two things: first, that aspiring to be a background singer is absolutely a worthy and worthwhile dream.

But second, and maybe more important, was my understanding that I shouldn’t doubt my own thoughts or aspirations. If I want to pursue a certain type of career or role or interest, I shouldn’t let myself doubt it or bring it down, just because it may not be the usual thing or what everyone else dreams about or even what I think I “should” be working towards.

This comes back to an idea that keeps presenting itself to me lately in books, blogs and conversations – each of us can only be ourselves and no one else – and no one else can be us. As Dr. Seuss wrote, “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

I think what it all comes down to is, I need to learn how to be myself, accept myself for who I am, and be the best me, the Me-est Me, I can be. And whether that means being a lead singer or a backup singer or a different kind of musician altogether, I have to remember that my dreams are mine and no one else’s – mine alone to dream up, validate, and make come true.

If this post rings true for you, leave a comment and tell me why, or share your own uniquely-you dream.

Big Changes Come in the Littlest Moments

Many people consider life to be a journey, and while I think that word is a little overused today (thank you, reality TV and Oprah), I do love to think about the unexpected twists and turns you encounter on this path called life. I especially enjoy looking back and realizing how one small act or comment may have changed the course of my life.

One recent and relevant example in my life is Pandora. I LOVE this music service, and if you haven’t used it yet, check it out now – you’re in for a big treat that will change how you listen to music forever.

Pandora is the outcome of the Music Genome Project, in which a group of musicians analyzed a ton of music, identifying each song’s “genetic” makeup based on nearly 400 music “genes” they had identified – things like the type of harmony used, kinds of instruments and instrumentation, the beat, the rhythm, the key signature, and so on. After you enter a particular song or artist you like, Pandora builds a custom radio station for you by pulling in other songs with similar attributes.

The result is the perfect radio station, featuring music that you already love along with new songs and artists that you’ll instantly fall in love with too.

Pandora (and the story behind its genesis) is fascinating, but to me, the really interesting thing is how I first discovered it. I learned about it from a colleague at work – and not even someone I know very well, just a guy with a cube somewhat near mine. One day we somehow got to chatting about what we listened to while working, since we’re both among the few of us who have headphones on all day, and he told me he listened to Pandora.

I had no idea what it was, so I checked it out when I got back to my desk, and I was immediately hooked.

Through Pandora, I started listening to songs by artists I’d never heard of, hearing new sounds and getting exposed to different musical flavors. I didn’t even know what traditional radio stations (if any) played these kinds of music, but I knew that I was discovering whole new genres and artists that I would never had heard of if it weren’t for Pandora.

One of my favorite aspects of Pandora – aside from the actual service and the music – is that they typically include a lengthy background of the artist. I absolutely love to read stories about people’s journeys (there’s that word again!) and how they got to where they are today, and nowhere is this truer than in the world of music.

Whether they were born into a musical family or didn’t discover music until their 40s, whether they started as a background singer or a winner on that American-Idol precursor Star Search, I love to read about the path someone’s life took and their own little twists and turns.

Discovering new artists and genres and their stories through Pandora truly rekindled my love of music and made me want to get back into it…which lead me to search for a violin teacher so that I could dust off my violin (which I hadn’t really played in about a decade) and start playing again.

While looking for a violin teacher, I had the crazy thought, hey, why not look for a voice teacher too? And lo and behold, this led me to my current wonderful teacher, my newfound love of singing, and a whole new world of possibilities laid out in front of me.

So to my colleague, it was nothing more than a little throw-away comment during a quick water-cooler chat – but for me, that one brief sentence honestly changed my life forever.

I’ve had other moments like this in my life, but this is the most recent, so it sticks in my mind most clearly.

What little thing affected YOUR life in a big way? I’d love to hear about others’ little/big life-changing moments in the comments – share yours!

Nothing Like a Deadline

The company through which I take voice lessons, Musika, has announced that their end-of-the-year recital will be held on June 3. This gives me just six weeks to prepare for what will be my second public singing performance (if you don’t include all my cantoring at Mass).

At first, six weeks sort of sounds like enough – after all, American Idol contestants learn a couple new songs every week, right? But in addition to working full-time, singing at church, and being a mommy to two young kids, I’m also going on three trips that will have me out of town for a total of two full weeks over the next month, not to mention celebrating both my daughter’s and my husband’s birthdays, getting ready for my mom’s and my sister’s birthdays, hosting five family members staying at our house, and having our entire family participate in my sister-in-law’s wedding. All fun stuff, to be sure, but a little stressful and time-consuming too.

Plus, in looking at my calendar this week, I realized that due to all of this busy-ness and travel, I’m currently scheduled for exactly ONE lesson between now and the recital. (Eek.)

Did I mention that I haven’t even chosen a song yet? (Double eek!)  

And that, in addition to singing a solo piece (whatever that ends up being), I’m also going to be singing an a cappella group piece with the rest of my teacher’s students? TRIPLE EEK!!

So I guess it’s a good thing the universe has been pounding a lesson into my head lately about being diligent, organized, responsible, and proactive, because I think I’m gonna need it over the next six weeks!

Then again, I tend to do my best work when coming up on a deadline...and I have found myself a little lacking in the motivation department in regards to practicing lately. So I think this looming potential public humiliation upcoming recital will really help me buckle down, prioritize my practicing, and perfect a couple of pieces, which will give me a boost of confidence, which will be a huge help in working toward my next goal, which is: to sing at an open mic night.

(Eek...)